Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
this just has baby written all over it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
