So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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