so explain again why im purple
no
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sex in the backyard? Check.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
