I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize