would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize