This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize