So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
