If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
PANTIES FOUND
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
