one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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