Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
