Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
