i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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