I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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