i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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