just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
