Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
