Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize