he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Randomize
