On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
