Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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