the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
