Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
