Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
