It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I have feelings that need drinking.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
