don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
