we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
