she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
