Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
