i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
