Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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