i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
