so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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