We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
