My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
