I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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