My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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