Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
