ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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