things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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