You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
