Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
