is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
