I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
