I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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