i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
