You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
