Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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