Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
