"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Houston, we have a blender
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
