When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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