some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
