quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm too high and old for this...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
