Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
