Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
