This girl is more easily done than said...
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
