knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
