its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
being pregnant is like rehab
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
