I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
