I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize