Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Thank you for not boning my boss.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
