Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
