glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I cockslap morals
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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