I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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