Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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