She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
