sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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