at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
